When you are asked to provide feedback, or if you have those moments of reflection about your own practice, consider this temporal trio. (No that is not a band!)
Connect the feedback dialogue to the present, past and the future.
When you are exploring a problem or issue: consider and explain three things that are working right now.
think about specific things that are going well will alter your brain chemistry so that you can be open to new solutions and new ways of thinking or acting.
Now look back at past experiences, “When you had a problem like this in the past, what did you do that worked?”
Get him thinking about that and seeing it in his mind’s eye: what he actually felt and did, and what happened next.
Hit the final part of the Christmas Carol by looking ahead at experiences yet to come: What do you already know you need to do? Some great questions to explore, from the article:
“What do you already know works in this situation? Why didn’t that work? Why do you think you should do that? What do you actually want to have happen? What are a couple of actions you could take right now?”
Explore the longer article (below) which outlines this strategy, plus a stack more ideas about the feedback dynamic and better ways we can navigate it.